Okay everyone,
Melissa didn’t send an official letter today but we had a very serious conversation. I wasn’t going to send this out but Aunt Molly told me that I should so that you all knew what Melissa was going through and would keep her in your prayers. Thanks! She really needs those birthday letters now. Thanks to those who have sent them already.

(Mel)
Well, it sounds like you had a pretty full week. How are you? I’m doing alright. I just sent an email to dad explaining what’s going on with me. I feel like everything is out of my control. I thought this might happen on my mission. I guess it’s happening right now. Well, life goes on. I´m still being obedient and I still have a testimony of the gospel. I know that God sent me here knowing my abilities. He knows I can do this...the problem is that I don’t have confidence that I can. Okay, I´m exaggerating. I know I can do this, it’s just hard. I feel like no one understands how I feel. Being thrust into a new country, a new culture, with new people is definitely not an easy task. Sheesh. Those Americans that served in the US...man, they have it so easy. They have cars, and nice apartments, and normal food in a language they understand. Man...Living here has REALLY made me appreciate how lucky I am to be an American and to have grown up in America. I honestly believe there is no other place that the living situation is more comfortable. Most importantly you have air conditioning. Some nights are really hard to sleep cause I´m so blasted hot. We just have fans and the wind. I have yet to be in a home with air conditioning. Plus you never have to worry if the water you’re drinking is sanitary or the water that was used to wash or cook the food was sanitary. Brazil is a completely different place. The people are really great though. Everyone is so nice and friendly and accepting. The food is good too. And I have discovered a love for maracujá! It’s Passion Fruit. Have you had it? Man it’s delicious. Especially in juice. I love it. Anyway...you sent my package. Thank you very much. Thank you for all that you do for me. I couldn’t be here without you. I don’t know how those people whose parents don’t support them on a mission do it. Honestly. Anyway.. I love you very much. Don’t stop praying for me. I need it very much. Love Melissa PS. doesn’t worry about me, I´ll be fine.

(Cindy)
I am so sorry that things are so hard for you right now but just think of the experience you will have acquired. It will make you a better person. You'll be a better wife and mother; you'll be a better servant in the church. Melissa I would give almost anything to have had that experience. I regret many things in my life. But the one I regret the most is living the way I did and being a follower instead of a leader. Not having a strong enough testimony to keep the peer pressure away and continue to attend church. That is the best example and the best quality that I have absolutely loved in you. You have always had a very strong testimony and you have never been a follower. YOU have always been a leader! I adore that in you.
Mom

(Mel)
I will be okay. I know that everything will turn out fine. I just need to gain confidence and patience really quick. Those are my big issues right now. I am trying so hard to be happy right now. I don’t want to keep thinking I´ll be happy when.... I want to be happy now. I´m trying. I´m praying every day for that.

(Cindy)
I do miss you so much. I really wanted to crawl through the phone the other day. It was very emotional for me too. I think I got a taste be it very small in comparison of the sacrifice Heavenly Father has made of all of his children. How he must want to protect them at every instance. But he knows that they must learn on their own. My heart actually aches for you. But I know this is so good for you and you will have AMAZING stories when you are done. You'll be able to keep these with you and share them with all of your children and grandchildren. And especially those that you associate with. I know already that everyone really loves your letters. I get comments all the time. I think that the kids in the family who don't go to church are even softening a bit. I got a Christmas present from Aunt Elena. She shared her testimony in a letter. It was small but it was awesome. So you keep sending those letters.
Mom

(Mel)
I am trying to be uplifting and helpful. I think about that fact all the time. You keep telling me that everyone loves the letters I send...but I don’t know what I´m saying that is so uplifting because I feel like I can’t help anyone right now. I can’t even help myself. I don’t know why I´m not happy.

(Cindy)
Just keep thinking...Things will be better tomorrow, or next week, this condition is temporary. You have to keep telling yourself that. Change your attitude. Be open for learning, be proud of yourself. Look how far you have come already. Just think, 2 months ago you didn't understand a word of Portuguese. You at least understand enough to get where you need to go and do what you need to survive. In a few more months you will be fluent and dreaming in Portuguese. Every challenge is an opportunity to learn something valuable. Heavenly Father will not let you down, unless you give up on Him or yourself. I KNOW that YOU can do this. I've seen you get through a lot of things that you thought were going to be hard. You are stronger than you think. How are things with your companion? Do you like her?Mom

(Mel)
I think that the problem though. I shouldn’t be thinking things will be better tomorrow. I should be happy today. I hope my own insecurities and doubts and unhappiness aren’t hindering this work. I know how important it is. I don’t want to be a band influence on anyone. I just need to be happy. My comp is alright. I don’t really feel like she helps me with anything including the language. I ask her questions and she answers them. She hardly every corrects my language and I realize later that I said something wrong and she didn’t say a word about it. And sometimes she´ll start talking to me and ask if I understand and when I don’t...she just repeats it over again just as fast as before. So...basically it’s rough. So much for a `trainer. `

(Cindy)
One of the things that I did during my anxiety sessions was to try to think positive thoughts all day long. No negative! When you first wake up in the morning tell yourself that you are in for a great day. Look at the "beautiful" sky, the "glorious" trees that Heavenly Father made. The "cute" dog barking at you as you walk down the street. The many people that may turn you away. Just remember that you may be the first LDS experience they have, and they will just need about 7 more with someone else before they accept the gospel. "It's not a big deal" If you have a negative thought just think of a way to turn it into a positive. Try that for one day, then maybe you will eventually be able to do that every day. Keep praying though. I know you will. Be very detailed in your prayers. Let Heavenly Father know your hearts desires. Even though he knows what is happening to you. Tell him everything. Let him help you in the best way that will help you grow.
Mom

(Mel)
Well, my time is up. I wish I could keep talking to you forever. I miss you a lot and definitely miss talking to you practically every day. 1 day a week is not enough. But I guess my purpose here is to get lost in the work so I just need to do that. I love you. I miss you. I´ll talk to you again next week.

(Her Letter to her Dad)
Thanks so much for your letter. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I have no idea how people who´s parents don’t support them going on a mission live. Honestly. I don’t think I could carry on without you guys.

This week has been rough. I am trying to learn this dang language but at the same time I don’t want to stress myself out with it (too late, you know me). I have been on the verge of tears practically every day. I think I might be depressed. I wrote to the Mission President about it so maybe he will get me in to see a doctor or a counselor or something. I am trying so hard not to be so worried about everything and just be happy. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Missions are hard. I miss you guys a lot. I know you’re being taken care of though. I know that I´m being blessed everyday too. The Lord knows all. I know He sent me here with a purpose. I know I can do this. It’s just been really rough the past two weeks. It’s been really hard to find new investigators also. Man. We have been asking every member around for references and proselyte on the street and knock doors in apartment buildings that we already have investigators in. The trouble with our area is that it’s all downtown. We only have apartment buildings and unless we have a reference...a lot of times we can’t get into the apartment complex because there is a guard. We walk A LOT but we don’t really teach much. A lot of people in our area work, study, and party a lot. It’s been rough. The one lady that I think will actually get baptized (Taciana) is leaving for vacation next week and won’t be back until the 30th of January. Also she has a very sticky situation involving her and her separated husband (I guess Brazilian Law says that you have to wait 2 years to get divorced) and her new boyfriend. She is having a hard time living the law of chastity because she and her boyfriend want to get married but she can’t get divorced yet. Yeah...it’s difficult. Anyway...

Recife is hot. Hot. And hot. It’s beautiful too, but mostly just hot. My feet hurt. My knees hurt (I think I have bad knees). My back hurts (the beds here are pretty hard)....and we can’t find investigators. I am learning how to be patient though. I definitely don’t have patience right now. Most importantly I am learning how to be patient with myself. This Portuguese stuff is hard and I am still having a hard time understanding everyone and being able to express what I feel in my heart. I know God loves me and I know that he blesses me every day. I know that without the pain I wouldn’t understand the joy. I just need to wait a while and everything will be alright in the end. Thanks for the support and thank you for praying for me. I pray for you night and day as well. I love you.

Love,

Melissa